Depression & the Spirit of God

As a result of my bipolar disorder I have written extensively about how I have battled the depression side of the equation. You have also noticed how richly I speak of the Lord in many of my posts. I’ve had people challenge me by saying that if I really did believe in God, that he would heal me of this disorder and I wouldn’t have to take all of these medications.

Granted, I will be the first to tell you that I believe in divine intervention and the healing of the sick when all else has proved impossible. Why some are cured and others are not is not my place to say. But I also do not believe in fleecing God (there is a passage in the Old Testament—Judges 7:36-40—where Gideon is to be used by God to rescue Israel as He promised, he decided to test God twice. The first time he set out a layer of fleece and told God if it was wet with dew the following morning and the surrounding land was dry, he would surely know that God was going to help Gideon rescue Israel. The next morning, that is exactly what happened. But then Gideon had to see one more sign from God, despite the numerous miracles he had already seen to date, before he was willing to commit to battle and have the assurance that God would be with him. This time he requested that the fleece remain dry while the countryside was covered in dew, and this occurred as well the following morning.). I believe that if it is God’s intentions to heal me of my bipolar disorder, I will discern that within my Spirit. I am not simply going off my medications to prove anything at all. I also realize that God works mightily through doctors and medicines. So, for the time being I continue my better living through chemistry.

I believe that God has quite a lot to say in the Bible about depression, passages that I have read, but ones that I should re-read and become intimately aware of, and to assign ownership of that knowledge. Too often, I have entertained myself in a pity party, yet there have been many times when I have been in very dark spaces that were quite a dangerous playground in which to be playing. As I have postulated before, depression for me is not about having a bad hair day, but a state in which there is utter hopelessness.

It almost seems like an oxymoron to have such strong beliefs in God, yet at the same time experience this hopelessness. However, I don’t believe that, when I am in this state, I am fully aware and cognizant of the power I behold through the name of Jesus. I know that the enemy has used this state of mind to confound me and put me in very dangerous positions, positions that nearly ended my life--some fairly recently.

I believe very strongly in the words of God found in the Bible. I believe that each and every word is from God. So I should, during these moments of clarity, take advantage and see exactly what God's promises are to me in regard to my depression.

Psalm 34:17 states that “The Lord hears his people when they call to him for help. He rescues them from all their troubles”

I believe in this passage that when I cry out to the Lord, He hears me and understands exactly how I am feeling. During the years that Jesus spent on this earth as a man, he suffered the same plights that each of us must endure every day and knows intuitively what we are going through. As a result, God feels exactly what our own hearts feel. He is a tender, loving Father that wishes nothing but the best for His children. I should take joy in these words as they tell me that I am not all alone.

Isaiah 43:2 says “When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty you will not drown, when you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.”

This leads me to believe once again that I am not alone. There is nothing more disheartening when I am depressed to feel so alone in this world. It only compounds the emotional pain. This passage also reminds us that God may not necessarily remove us from the storm we are weathering, but He does promise to steadfastly be with us. With God on our side, who can be against us?

1 Peter 4:12-13 says “Dear friends, don’t be surprised at the fiery trials that you are going through, as if something strange were happening to you. Instead, be very glad—for these trials make you partners with Christ in his suffering, so that you will have the wonderful joy of seeing his glory when it is revealed to all the world.”

This isn’t to say or indicate that we should be glad for our sorrows and tribulations, but, face it, what on earth could we ever go through that could even come close to the tribulations that Christ went through just for us. I am overwhelmed at the enormity of the suffering that He allowed himself to withstand because He knew it was His Father’s will. That puts my own suffering a quite a different perspective. To be able to sing of God’s praises in the midst of the storm is perhaps one of the most moving of all testimonies

Isaiah 40:31 “But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high like wings on eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint."

This one is a little harder for me to wrap my hands around. When I am in the pits of my depression, waiting is not something I am very good at doing, but knowing what I have to look forward to on the other side is what gives me the hope to sustain that faith. This speaks directly to the strength that faith brings to each of us.

2 Cor 1:3,4: “All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is our merciful Father and the source of all comfort. He comforts us in our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort that God has given us.”

What a testimony we have for others when we have walked through the fire and have been delivered by God’s own mercy and grace. Sometimes, the only way to witness to someone else is to let them know you have walked in the very same shoes they are walking in now. Sometimes the only people we will listen to are the ones who truly do understand what we are going through because we have been there ourselves. It’s not enough to preach the Good News when people are in this space, but to get down on their level and reach out with a comforting hand is like offering a sip of cold water to someone who is parched in the desert.

Romans 8:38, 39: “And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord."

The image I have in my head when I read this scripture above is of a person hanging onto a pole for dear life while the wind is whipping all over the place and being battered by the force of the wind. I may feel battered, in fact, I may feel beat up quite badly, but knowing that nothing can ever separate me from God gives me that solace I need when everything else seems to be blowing away.

Phil 4:8: “And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honourable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”

In other words, regardless of what our circumstances appear to be at any given moment in the depths of our despair, we know we have walked upright and righteously with the Lord at one point prior to this fall into depression and we have to hold onto those moments until we can navigate through the quicksand

Being bipolar and a mighty soldier of Christ can bring on a mixed bag of events. While we can, we have the ability to move mountains and lay claim to our heritage as being one of God’s precious children. However, as pointed out previously, there is nothing better that the enemy wants to do but divide you from your relationship with Christ. I do believe the enemy uses our own weaknesses to his own advantage, which is why we must be vigilant at all times. One of the scriptures in the Bible exhorts us to pray without ceasing. And, it is in these darkest of moments when I have to be able to reach out to God and grab on and not let go, knowing He is right there by my side.

I have to decide now whether I have the spiritual courage to be that mature Soldier of Christ and take ownership of all of God’s promises, or do I stay in this safe little corner hiding until the next round of depression comes upon me and become a spineless creature susceptible to all of the enemy’s efforts at weakening my defenses? A lot of this is easy for me to say these things right now as I am not in the pits of despair, but all the more reason for writing this down so I have this to go back to and read when I need it the most.

Do I wish I could be cured of my bipolar disorder? Of course I do. I hate the thought of knowing I have to depend upon medications for the rest of my life in order to maintain my sanity. However, I look to what I have been given as a child of God which makes all things of this world pale in comparison. None of us are promised a burden-free life. It is our responsibility to handle what is thrown our way. So, which path will you walk down where the rubber meets the road? I would like to think that I have matured in my walk with the Lord, even if only a little bit, that will give me so much more strength for when the times come for me to draw upon that strength.©2007

Obedience

This subject is one of the ones most talked about in the Bible. In fact, the entire first 5 books of the Bible convey to the reader exactly what is to be obeyed by the listing of all of the rules and regulations under the old covenant (according to Strong’s Concordance, a covenant is a will, testament, pact, contract, an agreed upon plan to which both parties subscribe). Jesus ratified the new covenant by the shedding of His blood and His death on the cross.)

God exhorts us to be obedient. In fact, in the Ten Commandments, only one of these provides a promise. The fifth commandment says “Honor your father and mother. Then you will live a long full life in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” The promise of a long life, if we are obedient to our earthly mother and father, can’t even compare to the promise that God has for each of us if we are obedient to Him.

How do we know what God wants from each of us? He has given us His word that we might seek from Him our purpose in life. One clue—it has nothing to do with us, but it is all about Him. I’ve written previously about needing to know God’s will for our life and even said that it may just be that we are shining examples to those around us by living an obedient life before the Lord. Should God have further goals for us in our lives and we haven’t yet discerned them through the reading of His word and a mighty prayer life, then, in the meantime, we are to be obedient.

Being obedient is more than just following the Ten Commandments. While a good start as a basic foundation, the Bible clearly comments on how we are to live our lives in relationship to other people. One excellent example is found in Galatians 5:22 where God speaks to the Fruit of the Spirit as “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. Against such there is no law” Note that God refers to this as the Fruit—singular. We are to espouse each of these characteristics as a whole, not just the ones we wish to honor. He also comments that there is no law that goes against the grain of the Fruit. We are to be obedient and yet also subscribe to this characteristics.

Obedience is definitely the narrow, harder path to follow. In our earthly desires, we often commit sin without realizing it because we have become desensitized to certain sins. A classic example is the sin of lying. How many times have you often thought, “Well, a little white lie won’t hurt anyone.”? There is someone who it will hurt and that is you. Because it is a sin, that act separates you from God at that given moment. It’s only through earnest, heartfelt prayer where we ask God to examine our hearts and reveal to us how we have sinned can we then ask for forgiveness. The flipside to this is repentance. Until you reach a point where you are no longer desensitized to a particular sin can you repent of it. Repentance involves the true effort to avoid that habitual sin, whatever that may be.

Turning your life over to God is a true, selfless act of obedience and one of the hardest. This requires absolute faith that God will always be at your side. That does not mean that life will be rosy. In fact, in some cases, it couldn’t be further from the truth. John 10:10 says, “The thief (Satan) does not come except to steal, and to kill, and to destroy. I have come that they may have life and that they may have it more abundantly.” When the enemy sees that you are trying to live your life according to God’s word, he will most surely object. Often, especially with a new Christian, life may become difficult in order to sway him or her from the narrow path that they have chosen. However, remember the second half of that verse: “that He comes so that we will have life more abundantly.”

God answers our prayers according to His timetable, not ours. Sometimes, instead of removing us from the storms of life we encounter, He, instead, chooses to hold our hand and walks us through the difficult times. I once heard this phrase, “if you can stand the stretch, God will pull you through.” Too often people will ask, “If God loves me, and I am true to His Word, why am I suffering like this?” There is no magical answer to this time-honored question. Very simply, having gone through a fire provides you with a lesson learned and the ability to witness to someone else weathering that same storm. What an honor it is to be used by God! You may have to endure difficult times, but to share the rainbow at the end of the hardship with someone else in those same shoes only bolsters the Kingdom of Christ.

When the enemy swoops in to separate you from God, and he will, it will be up to you to stand guard and remain ever vigilant to his intentions. Ephesians 6:11-13, 17 states that we are to “put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirit in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so that you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle, you will still be standing firm. Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit which is the word of God.” By reading God’s word, we will know how to be obedient to Him, and He gives us another promise in the above scripture where He states that after the battle we will still be standing firm. Further, in Ephesians 6:18, God says "Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion, Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.” Believe me when I tell you that all of us who have accepted Christ as our Saviour and follow heartily after His word will encounter tests and tribulations. It is how we handle these tribulations that determine what we are made of. Do we take that stance, putting on that full armor of God and be obedient to His word, or do we falter and do as the world would have us do and take the easy way out?

As we read His word and grow in this knowledge, will we have a better understanding of what obedience is all about, and what is required of us. Above all, earnest prayer as we seek God’s presence in our lives will only strengthen our resolve to deny the ways of evil, take up our own cross, and follow the teachings of Christ.©2007

To Conform or Be Transformed

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed by this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.”

I can understand the first verse. It is exhorting each of us to keep our minds and bodies as a clean and pure vessel to be used of God. This isn’t to say that we reach a state of sinlessness—we’re human and all of us sin, but we all have within our reach the act of atonement and forgiveness, accompanied by the intention of repentance to present ourselves as that sacrifice. To present ourselves as that living sacrifice is to put ourselves before God and allow His handiwork to create in us a pure and new vessel—a vessel willing to be used by God according to His will. We are, in effect, stating, “Here am I Lord, use me.”

This is not an easy state to maintain. The believer must examine his or her heart daily to determine what sins, no matter how trivial they may appear, have been committed that day (sin is sin, and no one sin is greater than another, and all have consequences). To commit a sin separates us from God until we ask for forgiveness, so living a sinful life, or allowing a sin to control us simply inhibits us to be able to be a willing servant to be used by God. God can only use a clean vessel that is willing to be used to accomplish His work. This person must be in a right relationship with God in order to be used, a relationship filled with God’s grace—that gift of receiving that which we do not deserve

Verse 2 is more difficult to achieve. There is the inherent observation that there are followers of Christ living side-by-side with those that do not, or choose not to believe in His teachings. This verse asks us to be aware of our surroundings without becoming part of the actions of this world that are not of God—a delineation that is sometimes difficult to discern. This is where the work of the Holy Spirit comes in to play. By having a discerning Spirit within each of us, we are able to discern that sometimes imperceptible line. We each have the ability to choose to emulate the questionable ethics of this world—yes, to choose sin—or to rise above that and merely observe the behaviours of this world, but not getting sucked into its quicksand. Each of us has the capacity to be in the world—a fact that cannot be ignored—yet not be of this world by choosing behaviour that is pleasing in God’s eyes. This truly is the hard road to take and certainly the narrow path.

To be of the world is a matter of circumstance, a situation that none of us can escape. But, to merely be in it and not of it requires each of us to choose that which is harder—absolute obedience to God. Only in this obedience and our openness to be a clean vessel to be used by God can we discover what is that perfect will of God for each of us. And finding that will may not be one grand and glorious achievement—it could be as simple as living daily a humble and obedient life in service to God while seeking to be closer to God’s own heart with a fresh examination of our hearts each and every day for the revelations of imperfection.

None of us will ever achieve that state of perfection—only Jesus had that capability from the moment of conception. However, it is in this pursuit of attempting to be as close to perfect as we can that allows us to discern that Spirit to show us what that perfect will is. This pursuit of perfection is the act of allowing God to transform ourselves by the renewing of our minds. This requires one of the hardest concepts in a Christian’s life—the ability to let go of our earthly desires in order to achieve that place where we allow the freedom of God to truly work through us as His instruments in this world.©2007

My Fears and Struggles

I have spoken much of my despair of late and the fear I have trembling within my heart. And I realize that God did not give me a spirit of fear but a Spirit of love and of a sound mind (2 Tim 1:7). Also, I am reminded that fear is from the enemy and not of God, and all my enemy wants is to take away everything away from me. “The thief does not come except to kill, steal and to destroy. I have come that they may have life and they may have it more abundantly.” (John 10:10).

Strong’s Concordance defines abundantly as this: “superabundance, excessive, overflowing, surplus, over and above, more than enough, profuse, extraordinary, above the ordinary, more than sufficient.” With that in mind, knowing that my fear of from the enemy, this is his way to destroy this abundance that I am promised by God.

I know I struggle back and forth over many areas and, while I know my bipolar is a function of a great deal of that struggle, my spiritual struggle is fueled by the enemy, and I will not let him have that control over me. I will have victory over the enemy through Jesus.©2007

Praise & Worship

Glory
Praise
Honor
Worship
Holiness
Blessings
Jubilation
Exultation
Reverence
Joyfulness
Veneration
Magnificence
Righteousness
Who am I not to give God all that he deserves
When I enter into His presence
Is it not my duty to give all that I am to His service
He alone is worthy of all the glory and honor
I am a mere mortal, but made in His image
He is my King and Creator and alone merits my worship
There is no other Name that can be called upon
Jesus is my Savior and Redeemer
Worthy of all things holy and blessed
He gave all He is just for me before I ever knew Him
How can I not sacrifice my service unto him
The Holy Spirit is my Great Protector and Provider
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness
Faithfulness, gentleness and self-control
Alone is His Fruit to me—Fruit to guide my life
I am nothing without my King, Redeemer and Protector
Let me enter into His presence to bow down before Him
And sacrifice my praise and worship to Him alone
©2007

"Footprints"...A New Version (author unknown)

Imagine you and the Lord Jesus are walking down the road together. For much of the way, The Lord’s footprints go along steadily, consistently, rarely varying the pace.

But your footprints are a disorganized stream of zigzags, starts, stops, turnarounds, circles, departures and returns.

For much of the way, it seems to go like this, but gradually your footprints come more in line with the Lord’s, soon paralleling His consistently.

You and Jesus are walking as true friends!

This seems perfect, but then an interesting thing happens: your footprints that once etched the sand next to Jesus’ are not walking precisely in His steps.

Inside his larger footprints are your smaller ones; you and Jesus are becoming one.

This goes on for many miles, but gradually you notice another change. The footprints inside the large footprints seem to grow larger.

Eventually, they disappear altogether. There is only one set of footprints. They have become one.

This goes on for a long time, but suddenly the second set of footprints is back. This time it seems even worse! Zigzags all over the place. Stops. Starts. Gashes in the sand. A variable mess of prints.

You are amazed and shocked.

Your dream ends.

Now you pray:

“Lord, I understand the first scene, with zigzags and fits. I was a new Christian; I was just learning. But you walked on through the storm and helped me learn to walk with you.”

“THAT IS CORRECT.”

“And when the smaller footprints were inside of Yours, I was actually learning to walk in Your steps, following You very closely.”

“VERY GOOD. YOU HAVE UNDERSTOOD EVERYTHING SO FAR.”

“When the smaller footprints grew and filled in Yours, I suppose that I was becoming like You in every way.”

“PRECISELY.”

“So, Lord, was there a regression or something? The footprints separated, and this time it was worse than at first.”

There is a pause as the Lord answers, with a smile in His voice.

“YOU DIDN’T KNOW? IT WAS THEN THAT WE DANCED!”

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under heaven: a time to weep, a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance. (Ecclesiastes 3:1,4)

It not WHAT you have in your life, but Whom you have in your life that counts…Think about that.