For Melanie—

Melanie, in your comment on my post below, you’ve touch upon a subject that concerns why I am beginning to have problems about the Bible…its translation. Full Gospel preachers will preach that it is the inherent word of God—that these words were divinely inspired. Yet, to whom were they inspired? Men of a far different cultural time than now. You cited a good example of sexism—women were treated as chattel (“an item of personal property that is not freehold land and is not intangible. Chattels are typically movable property). Women were not viewed as persons in their own right. This model had not changed until the 1920s with the 19th Amendment allowing women the right to vote. Up until then, men did not believe women had the wherewithal to have an opinion, much less speak in public. That is only the situation in the United States. Look at how many cultures (e.g., the Middle East) still actually treat their women as property. Anyway, I digress…

I also agree with your statements about Paul being sexist. Paul espoused the notion that men should stay single and devote their lives to God; however, if they could not remain single (subtle inference on my part here—if men could not do without sex), then be married, but it is much better to remain single (1 Cor 7:1). My interpretation: women were only good for one thing, satisfying men’s sexual urges (one caveat here, Paul also said the same for widows as well, though). Here’s my conundrum. I am a lesbian, therefore an abomination; however, if I choose to remain single (celibate), then it is better (so am I still an abomination?). So that forces me into a life where I will never have any relationships—a pretty sad state of affairs, don’t you think? Our current government has deemed that same-sex marriages are forbidden (under DOMA). If I could be legally married, then I would not be a fornicator, yet the noose around me is that I am still queer, so therefore still an abomination.

If the Bible is the divinely inspired word of God, then who is to say that by the time the words were captured on papyrus, the men so divinely inspired did not interpret it as they saw fit according to the times in which those words were inspired. I have already mentioned in my post below how we have since dispensed with certain passages as biblical rule, but to this day, no one will even suggest that homosexuality be dispensed with at the same time because through the ages, religious zealots have seen fit to propagate the belief that homosexuals are perverts (it’s become a strong-held belief, I believe, because people saw this as “different” from their own experiences, therefore immoral). Slavery was supported in the Bible. It is no longer allowed. Interracial marriages were not approved, but only recently have the courts deemed this as racist. No one wants to touch on the hot ticket of the day which has become the litmus test for all politicians, much like abortion was in previous political battles.

Your desire to read the true translations as you study other languages may prove interesting, especially as they may show wide differences across today’s various translations. In some churches, only the old King James version is considered THE Bible. I personally have found that the NIV is more homophobic across the board than others. Good luck with your studies and thank you for taking the time to share with me your thoughts.©2009

So Tell Me Again—Why Is It So Wrong To Be Queer?

(…continued from below -- damn if I can't get the text to align with the pics!)

Then there is my big issue of being able to reconcile being queer and Christian. I want so much to sing my heart out to the Lord during praise and worship and feed on God’s word. Nevertheless, the Bible tells me that I am an abomination before Him. Even when I drew closer to God and made the decision to be celibate, I still considered myself to be a lesbian. It’s not that I have any intentions or desires “convert” and become straight. I am just not wired that way. However, isn’t that just obeying the letter of the law and not the spirit?

Sure, there is a Metropolitan Community Church (catering primarily to the gay community) here in town, but that never fed me spiritually. Besides, my ex-partner attends there (also a small church—no way to avoid her). I’ve even attended a couple of major denomination churches that are gay affirming, but they didn’t feed my spiritual hunger either. My church feeds my heart and spirit. It’s the one to which I want to return.

I argue with God. Why is being queer a sin? I just don’t get it. Aside from the famed verse in Leviticus (Lev 20:13), the very same book also preaches the dietary laws and preaches against wearing clothes of mixed fabric. Why are the latter two no longer sins, but homosexuality still is? I really believed that the Bible is God’s word. You either accept it all or reject it all. If you believe in the Bible, you just can’t choose to accept only those passages you happen to believe in. But, that is exactly what is done. We no longer follow the dietary laws or the mixing of fabrics as being sinful, yet being queer still is. Why? Why? Why?

If it is such a huge sin, then why didn’t it make it in the top ten right alongside adulterers, thieves, liars, and murderers? Jesus never once mentioned it during His ministry, but did warn against adulterers, thieves, liars, and murderers. Why is being queer a sin?

Remaining celibate hasn’t really been an issue for me since I walked away from the only social network I ever had. My only social network after that became this one little church. No, I’ve never been judged openly; yet at the same time, I’ve never been able to have a conversation with anyone about my struggle with this issue except my pastor and one other person. I’m still an activist dyke fighting for LGBTQ equality in my own way (e.g., my entire Facebook page focuses on that). All of my “friends” rally around equal justice while there are those lobbying our government using their powerful muscle to promote their views that all gays are sinners and perverts out to destroy American family values. Hello…I’m an American.

I find it quite ironic that the recent hate crime law to include gays only made it because it was attached to a defense bill that the White House and Congress wanted so desperately to pass. Yet, another irony—it’s part of an amendment whose very nature supports Don’t Ask, Don’t tell. If the military only knew how many closeted lesbians and gay men are fighting for our country right now. Yes, there is another bill in Congress deliberating repealing DADT, but that is small potatoes compared to some very basic issues of inequality we face every single day. Because same-sex marriage is not sanctioned at the federal level (thanks to the Defense of Marriage Act), we don’t enjoy the same equal economic opportunities (e.g., insurance coverage for our partners, although some major companies do have diversity policies allowing for this, death benefits, etc.). Let’s not forget that we have no protection where housing and employment are concerned.

Back to the recent hate crimes law, what that made it more palliative had to do with the following provision: religious leaders are still given the permission to continue spewing their religious rhetoric with no consequences.

There is another bill up before this Congress, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, but yet again, there is a provision that religious organizations are provided a special exception to this protection, similar to the principles of the Civil Rights Act. The right-wing Christian fundamentalists have their fingers in every pie. Imagine one of these fundies wearing a cotton-wool blend suit. If they are going to throw the Bible down our throats as the measuring stick for their causes, they can’t have it both ways.©2009

Joy in the Face of Circumstances?

Well, I did not throw up and I did go to church. I was sweating bullets through Praise and Worship while standing; I had no energy whatsoever and was hanging on to everything I had just to be there. My exhaustion is so overwhelming.

Pastor preached on maintaining your joy despite whatever circumstances you are going through. I’ve been there before. After I was laid off, I knew in my heart that the Lord would provide for me and just pressed onward. Sure, there were many times when I was curled up like a baby on the floor of my bedroom in utter agony not knowing what the next day would bring, yet I was still able to focus on all of the good things with which the Lord had already blessed me. That focus brought me the strength I needed to endure the unknown at the time. And that strength was my joy. Sometimes it was just enough to know that I could trust in Him to make it through.

The scripture referenced this morning was found throughout Philippians 4. Key points: 1) learn to avoid comparisons. There will always be others that fare better than you. This will inevitably spawn the “fairness” questions back to God. One comment that hit home is that the mortality rate for the human being is 100%. So, what do we do with ourselves in the meantime? What do we set our eyes upon? 2) It is a myth that I must be liked in order to be happy. Well, that’s a hard one with which to grapple. I am alone. I am unhappy. No, not everyone I will come across will like me. Truth be told, I easily piss off most people. And you’ve read my rave reviews I’ve received from my immediate family in Birthday Cards. Pastor said that all I should be concerned with is that I please God. Well, I’m in trouble here. I acknowledge that I am a lesbian (albeit celibate, although I’m not sure if that isn’t just splitting hairs). Certainly that isn’t looked upon as being pleasing (no, I’m not going to drag all the biblical references to prove that one). I also run right smack into the two verses that I have really tried so hard to pattern my life after. So, where am I really as far as the conforming and the transforming? Am I really just a poser? 3) Pray for what can be changed and accept that which cannot be changed Phil 4:6-7. Again, another sticking point. I don’t believe being queer is a choice, so what can be changed there? Also, what about the whole bipolar shtick? It’s not something to be cured. Do I believe that God has the power to heal? Yes, I do. Will He cure me? Who knows? All I do know right now is that I am bipolar which drives to the very heart of so much that is wrong with my life. 4) Learn to accept God’s power in that there are circumstances that I can’t face alone 2 Cor 12:9.  5) Learning to allow for God’s provision Phil 4:18-19.  Both points 4 and 5 I’ve experienced first hand. I have seen God’s fingerprint on my life in such a way that it defies all other explanation (see My Own Personal Miracle elsewhere in this blog). 6) God will give you all you need if you put Him first in your life Matt 6:31-33.  This point comes with that great caveat: IF you put Him first. Do I? I am consumed with the by-products of being bipolar. I am consumed with wrestling with the concept of being Christian and queer. Am I just wrestling with the concept of being queer? Is it internalized homophobia? No, I don’t think that’s it. If anything, all of my life I’ve been a radical, in-your-face butch dyke.

If I try to follow my heart, I know His word tells me that so much of what I am internalizing are just the lies of the devil, but the bipolar keeps getting in the way. I can’t keep all these racing thoughts straight in my head. So, I end up not knowing what’s real and what isn’t. It’s information overload. I am drowning in the sea of “oughts” and “ams.”—who I should be vs. who I am. Am I who I should be? Why can’t I answer that question?©2009

Spiritual Questions

I have two questions for you. Let’s say you are somewhere and meet someone who professes to be a Christian and you have his or her complete attention. (A) What will you say to that person if you believe they are really listening to you? In addition (B) What experience(s) have you had that would color your comments?