27 November 2009

How I Handled Yesterday

Knowing I was feeling very depressed yesterday (see post below), I was afraid to be alone in my house for fear that my suicide ideation would begin. I decided to be proactive during the day. I already know that my front porch does not offer me much solace as it once did, so I decided to try the backyard. I sat in my camp chair (very comfortable with two cup holders) in the full sun while listening to my iPod for the duration of the day until the sun went down. It was 61˚F/16˚C and absolutely beautiful. I was still very depressed, but not suicidal. When the sun went down, I went inside to bundle up and stayed outside until the stars cam out and watched the moon rise. I was out of my house and safe, and that is all that mattered.©2009


  1. Whilst I was very saddened to hear that your family had abandoned you for what was clearly a very meaningful day for you, I am at least heartened that you were able to do something to sooth your pain. I just wish that you hadn't had to face the day alone.

    Hugs to you my dear x

  2. @SI...looking back on yesterday, while I was alone, I did enjoy being outside and enjoying nature and being under both the sun and the stars. I've not really appreciated the beauty of nature quite like I experienced it. And that is a positive spin on my Thanksgiving Day :-)