03 December 2009
Appt with Psychiatrist #8
We’re still doing psychotherapy for 50 minutes weekly with phone calls interspersed. He’s concerned over my profound depression. I made a half-hearted attempt to commit suicide Sunday night. I say half-hearted because I didn’t drink any alcohol which I know would seal the deal. I think halfway through, once I swallowed the pills, I realized I didn’t want to go through with it. My consequence: well, I did sleep for 4 hours, but felt very groggy. That morning tried to drive my self to group and got sideswiped by an 18-wheeler—my fault, I veered into his lane. Luckily, I self-corrected and stayed in my lane. Unfortunately, my car has the scars to prove it. Moreover, I fell asleep during the whole first session of group (no I didn’t snore, but no one woke me up either). At the break, I guess all of the noise woke me up, but my therapist wouldn’t let me drive home, so I called a friend to pick me up. I guess some of the drugs I had only taken a few hours earlier had not fully metabolized.
Well, back to my shrink, he has increased my Lexapro to 30mg. I found out that the normal dose is 10-20mg. I sure hope this helps me. I am on so many medications. Maybe once my Thiamine levels get within appropriate range things will start to change.©2009